Once again I am in the land of The Pink Toilet. This time, I have a Shower Toilet. Not just any shower toilet- this is a complicated one.
I don’t have a problem reading and understanding instructions.
I can follow the instructions for the remote control:
I can follow the instructions for the coffee machine:
I even learned to follow the Pink Toilet instructions the last time I was here:
But this time is different. This time I don’t have my usual Dangerous Pink Toilet.
This time I have a Shower Toilet.
You don’t believe me? Look at this:
What does it say at the bottom left of the instructions? “SHOWER TOILET”.
There are many things in life that should not be combined.
Showers and toilets are two of those things.
So I read the instructions. I don’t want to mess this up.
“The shower toilet with deodorizer will not spray any water until you are seated”.
Well, I’m glad the shower toilet is going to wait to spray me with deodorizer until I’m seated. But what if I don’t WANT to be sprayed with deodorizer?! WHY am I being sprayed with deodorizer?! They are making some assumptions about me that are not true.
And what is a shower toilet, anyway? It’s not a bidet….there is a separate button for the bidet.
Another part of the instructions states “Rinses your posterior with warm water”.
What if I want my posterior sprayed with COLD water (not that I do…)? What if I want my anterior sprayed instead of my posterior? They make a lot of assumptions here about what I want sprayed.
“Selects seat temperature”.
Dont believe this! Last time the only choices for seat temperature were sautéed, flambeed, and barbecued.
I think I might wait to use the toilet until I come home.
Five days from now.