My family and I are going on a vacation next week. I’ve been told we are going to a nice place. Theresa does most of the organizing work for our vacations (flights, hotels, activities) and I get interested about three days before we leave.
What I really look forward to is our family time. I like to say “it’s good to get the band back together”. The four of us live in three different places on two different continents, 10,000 miles apart. So getting back together is a big deal for us.
I bring a list of discussion topics on vacation. We take long walks (or have coffee dates), and I raise these topics as a way to work through decisions and better understand my world. (By the way-I do this with some of you too. If we have breakfast together, or coffee dates, you know that I bring discussion topics).
I have started a list of discussion topics that I would like to process over the next 2-3 weeks. I have not included some of the most personal stuff (what is the combination to the safe each of you have behind the painting on your living room wall, what I will say if the Eagles get knocked out of the playoffs…):
- What books have we read recently? (We are all voracious readers). I recently finished “The Big Short” by Michael Lewis, and am halfway through “1929” by Aaron Sorkin. With my recent reading in mind- are we headed for another financial crash? There seem to be important parallels between 1929 and 2025.
- I also read “Dopamine Nation” by Anna Lembke. I am trying to limit my screen time, and lean into my face to face time with family and friends.
- How long do I want to keep working? Why am I working? Theresa retired about 8 weeks ago. I don’t *need* to work, at least not for the money. I do want to be active, and curious, and create meaning. Right now, work does that more than anything else for me.
- If I stop working, I don’t think I have enough satisfying things to fill my day. I have thought about purchasing a BMW M5 (top speed 185 mph), but some of my friends explained to me that if I’m pulled over in PA driving over 100 mph, that is a felony, and I won’t get to drive my BMW in prison.
- I love live music. My favorite band hasn’t played a gig since August, and they haven’t announced anything for 2026. Do I need a new favorite band?
- I could purchase a guitar. But I think I’d need to put in at least 2000 hours of practice to get good enough to be “just ok”. And 2000 hours is about four years at 10 hrs/week. Can I tolerate sucking at something for four years until I am “just ok”? If I was doing that for four years, I would be daydreaming about going 110 mph in an M5 on the PA Turnpike, and…never mind, prison, I know.
- Where do we want to live long term? My parents passed away in 2008 and 2023. My father in law passed away early this year. I don’t need to be here to help support them anymore. My mother in law is aging. Darwin (our dog) is also aging…Those are the relationships keeping us in PA. We don’t have a house anymore, we could live anyplace we want. This is probably a “in a few years what do we do” topic.
- I have had recent conversations with friends where we have used the words “luck”, “fortune”, “privilege”, and “blessings”. I recognize that most of the topics I am raising for discussion are topics that involve opportunity. With that in mind- how much of my circumstances are due to me, and how much of my circumstances have happened because I was “in the right place at the right time”? How much of my circumstances are due to the zip code I was born in, the decade that I was born in, and let’s be real- I live in a society that favors old white guys. Racism and sexism exist.
- Would I have the same life circumstances if I had two X chromosomes and/or different skin color? Using baseball terminology- I may have scored a run, but was I born on third base? I know some people who take credit for all of the good things that they have experienced. I try not to do that. I try not to take responsibility for all of the good circumstances, or avoiding responsibility for the bad circumstances.
- In addition to “luck/fortune/privilege/blessings”….how much of what I have experienced is due to randomness?
- Last topic- given what I have been given, and aware of what I have- how can I be of greater use to my family, friends and society?
Thank you for reading!
I wish you all a healthy, peaceful and safe 2026.
With Love,
Hal
