A Letter to Heather, from Darwin

[Heather is in Oklahoma this week, on a service trip sponsored by Villanova, and Habitat for Humanity.  We were asked to write letters to Heather while she is in Oklahoma.  This is a letter to her, from her dog Darwin.]

Dear Heather,

This is Darwin.  Your Schnoodle buddy.


We need to talk.  I just found out from the big scruffy guy that you are going someplace on another trip.  Why?!  You just went on a trip.  Why do you have to go on ANOTHER trip?  Do you want to build a snowman?  I want to build a snowman.

Try to get THAT song out of your head…..

Let’s talk about this.  You are the only person in my life who runs up the driveway with me.  I love it when we run.  Your hair flies in the breeze, and my fur flies in the breeze.  It is so nice when we are running like that!  It makes me feel like a little puppy all over again!

I love it when you hold me like a baby!!  You can’t do that in Soak-lymphoma!

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And belly rubs-  no one rubs my belly like you do !!  Who is going to rub my belly while you are in Croakladoma?!


Do you remember what happened last time you went on one of these trips?  You burned yourself.  You permanently cooked a round shape in the palm of your hand.  Why did you do that to yourself?  And you signed up to do this again?  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU HUMAN GIRL?!

Where are you going, anyway?  The fuzzy guy tried explaining it to me, but he is an idiot.  He said something about the state of Okly-coma, but then he said something about the City of Okly-homa, and I am now totally confused.

Where did you go before?  Was it Weezy-Anna, or something like that?  And why do you do this, anyway?  What is the point of travelling far away, just to scorch a circle on the palm of your hand?  If you want to injure yourself with a branding iron, can’t you do it here at home?

What does it smell like when you cook yourself?  Why did you do that to yourself?  And how did you manage to cook a perfectly round shape onto your hand?  Your moron father said something about a nail gun, but it didn’t make any sense at all to me….not that anything he says ever makes any sense…..

(Seriously-just between you and me- why did you burn yourself with a nail gun? And HOW did you burn yourself with a nail gun?!)

Back to Okra-homey.  Where is it?  Is it near the cable box that I pee on?  Or is it closer to the fire hydrant I like to spray?


The ugly guy just explained to me what you are doing on this trip to Oaklagummy.  He said that you are helping to build houses for people who want to live in houses.  I thought that was nice.  Sort of.

(Given your history of cooking yourself with power tools, I thought it was scary.  But nice.)

Then he explained to me that maybe-just maybe-  a family would move into one of the houses, and then that family would go to a local animal shelter, and rescue a Schnoodle, and bring it home, and make that home a forever home for that Schnoodle. He explained that a Schnoodle would have a family, and a home, and maybe even a puppy blanket.

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And that made me so happy.

Go help a Schnoodle in BrokeTheComa!

With Love,

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