I’m staying at a hotel 7000 miles from home.  My hotel room has a toilet (that’s good).  The toilet has a seat warmer (in theory, not so bad).  The seat warmer is set to “cook Hal’s derrière” (that’s bad). And I can’t figure out how to turn off the derrière cooker.

So I decided to check the toilet instructions. See the photo below for the instructions.

“Never immerse the shower toilet or splash it with water”.  Not a problem for me- I gave up splashing toilets several years ago.

“Never disassemble or remodel the shower toilet”.  Again, not a problem, because I left my tools home.    If they want to remodel the place themselves, go ahead.

“When the toilet seat is used by …people who cannot adjust the temperature themselves, turn off the seat heater”.  This is where I have a problem with the instructions. I am the person using the toilet seat.  I cannot adjust the heat.  So how am I supposed to turn off the heater?!

“if the toilet seat is used for a long time without turning off the heater, there is a danger of low temperature burns”.  

It’s going to be a long week….

Hal