Where Is Your Dot?

A few thoughts on my connection with people, and my connection with technology.

A couple of years ago, as the pandemic was easing, I had breakfast with my sponsor. I explained to him that I was feeling disconnected from my recovery program. The online meetings that I was attending weren’t “doing it” for me. (Ironically, I had been one of the people who helped to start some of those online meetings). He said “Build Your We”.

He suggested that I return to live meetings. I did, and I realized that I really missed the “meeting before the meeting”, and especially the “meeting after the meeting”. He noted that we experience something chemically when we are face to face that we don’t experience online.

Many years ago, (1994-1998) I worked for a company based in Sweden. My bosses boss was based in Sweden. He called a company meeting, and asked everyone to attend. I asked him why he wanted everyone to come to Sweden, when we had these modern technological tools like fax and email (it was 1994). He replied, in Swedish accent and Swedish words, “there is no substitute for contact of a personal nature”. What he meant is that there is no substitute for face to face contact.
A couple of months ago, I was scheduled to fly home from Sydney on American Airlines. The night before my departure, they cancelled the flight, and rebooked me on Qantas. Qantas is a very good airline. Very safe (see the movie “Rain Man” for background on that). But Qantas has no Wifi. Which meant that I was out of contact with everyone for 15+ hours. 15 hours without Wifi.
Last week, Theresa and I went to a concert in Nashville. It was in a theater, and one of the entry conditions was that we had to surrender our smart phones and smart watches, and place them in a special “locked envelope” so that we (and no one else) could take photos or make/receive calls during the show. 4 hours with no phone or watch.
After the Saturday morning meeting at Hair of the Dog in West Chester, several of us go to Nudy’s for breakfast. That breakfast may be my favorite hour of the week. Some of you have told me the same thing. That hour is a bunch of recovering people eating, talking, and enjoying each others company.
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If I could draw something on a chalkboard for you, I would draw “Connection to People” on one side of the board, and “Connection to Technology” on the other side of the board.

If you ask me to place a dot where my comfort zone is, I would place a dot near Technology.

If you ask me to place a dot near what is good for me- that is, what contributes most to my recovery, well-being, joy, and a fulfilled life, I would place a dot near People.

If you ask me to place a dot near what I do most of the time, I would place a dot somewhere in between.